Monday, July 26, 2004

Tay-RAY-za's more civil tone

Why is it that everytime I read or hear something from Teresa Heinz Kerry, my eyes water and sting, and the gorge rises in my throat as if I had just smelled something particularly noxious?

What can the malodorous offender be?

The neighbors' bull mastiff, Napoleon, has been tethered in it's own yard for weeks and the soles of my corcorans are clean. So it's not that. Whew!

It's not Auntie Kate, she hasn't smelled like that since Uncle Barty made her that telescoping thing-a-ma-jiggy so she could reach her underarms with a washrag.

When ever the Maniacal Matriarch of the little Green Pickle opens her bilious yapper, the un-named scent wafts through the air. She offers neither hope or praise, but vituperation. She preaches civility to others yet spews vitriol in her own comments. She criticizes the herculean efforts of her betters and offers no viable solutions with which to replace those efforts. Demands that the world be apprised of sensitive information during a time of war.....yet doesn't deem the American public worthy to know about her tax information.

She gets as much face time as her spouse. You'd think that she was running for office. ( What is it with the wives of liberal politicians anyway? First Hillary now Tay-RAY-za!)

Kerry must sic her at the cameras and microphones whenever he runs out of positions that he can hold on any single issue.

But I digress, the odiferous scent that follows THK around like a Gaul slave at a Roman victory parade is the scent of brimstone....just a hint of it in the air.

And if we allow her or her husband even the slightest chance of getting into the big white house on pennsylvania ave. after this November, the whole joint is gonna reek. And holding our noses won't do any good.