Monday, March 07, 2005

Strange Dream

I had a dream the other night. I was sitting in a bar with my dad, drinking a cold beer. And I looked over and saw Count Basie, Duke Ellington and Fats Waller standing behind a piano. And all of the bar patrons were filing past the piano, shaking each of their hand in turn.

Naturally, I wanted to go up and shake each of their hand as well. I am a large fan after all.

When I awakened from this dream, I had this feeking about how strange the dream was. But what I immediately thought strange about the dream was not that these three jazz legends were pressing the flesh with all of the patrons, but rather that I was sitting there drinking with my dad.

I was profoundly saddened when this realization dawned on me. My dad and I have never been especially close, and this bothers me greatly. Yet I feel so self-conscious around him. There never seems to be anything to say, for either of us, when we are together. I would give a lot were it different.